High School Love Doesn't Last

This is probably one of the most important pieces of advice I can give you, and also the one that I think is least likely that you will follow. That is unfortunate, but I remember being back in high school and how strong and nearly out of control my emotions were, so I understand if you aren't able to follow this bit of direction. However, if you do, I believe that you will be remarkably happier than I was back in those days.

This is the real truth of it, plain and simple: in high school, you are still becoming an adult, still growing into who you are and you will change a lot. The person you "fall in love" with also is changing, and even as soon as one year from now, you both may be completely different people. What you think you want today may not even be close to what you want tomorrow, and when you are with someone, the same is true for them. So there's the chance that both of you won't want the same thing at some point.

Yet, during this time, you'll have all these crazy feelings. You'll bond, you'll think that it is "true love." That will override any thoughts you might have about the person such as, "We don't really like the same things," or "We sometimes don't get along", or "This person smells kind of funky." You won't notice because your heart will drown out your head. The heart will be screaming "I love him I love him I love him!" and you can't hear your head quitely saying, "He's kind of a jerk."

Even if he is the greatest guy in the world, the fact is, people who date in high school almost never get married. Pretty much, it's going to end. And all those days and nights you spend sulking and worried could have been much better spent playing video games. Seriously.

I really, really, really wish someone had told me, when I was in high school: "Look, just forget about girls for now. You'll just be upset and angry and confused and anything that happens won't last anyway." I could have saved myself so much time and anguish... instead I spent days and nights pining over girls I couldn't have, who turned me down, who broke up with me, who didn't like me... I wrote poems and even songs. That was nice and all, but it wasn't realistic or practical. It was just a waste of time. In fact, it made me unhappy a lot.

That's really the main reason I'm telling you this. I don't want you to be unhappy a lot like I was. I would have been so much happier in school if I had just forgotten about girls totally, and had fun with my friends. I could have had more time to smile, laugh, do fun things and learn new skills. Or, as I said, play video games.

One time I got really stupid over a girl. I thought it was "true love." Her name was Jennifer. I thought we were perfect together... she was #1 in the class in our school, pretty, and liked to do things I did. We dated for a month, and we even kissed. (Oh my gosh!) Then, a month later, she dumped me to go back to her last boyfriend (because she was still "in love" with him.) This is the stupid part: I then got so upset about losing my "one true love" that I tried to kill myself. Sort of. I don't think I was really serious about it but I did give it some consideration. All for some silly high school girl that I'd only been with for one month. Seriously, how dumb is that?

I'm not saying you should never have a boyfriend during high school, but if you do, don't take it that seriously. Also, the more you do things, like kiss and touch, the more you will feel attached, and the louder your heart will scream stuff like "I LOVE HIM OMG I LOVE HIM SOOOO MUCH!" Even though your brain knows its just because you got emotionally close from touching.

People really don't grow into who they are until they are at least 20, I have found. It's just my opinion from my personal experience, but I found out when I married a 19 year old, who, by 22, really didn't want the life I offered any more. That was a hard lesson too. So I'd like to spare you pain, breakups, maybe even a divorce like I had. Those hurt.

The point is: enjoy your friends, learn some things, have lots of fun, reach for your goals in life... don't get romantically involved in high school when your heart is young and your emotions make you crazy and out of control. I know it may be hard to overcome the screaming of your heart, but try to listen to your head sometimes too, and remember what Uncle Steve said.