Develop a Strong Mind

High School is a very emotional time for a person in America. You are just starting to learn critical thinking and analysis of situations, beginning your "training" to become an independent adult, and at the same time your body is going through the changes of adolescence. So, not only do you have to deal with new challenges and responsibilities; you have raging hormones making your emotions that much stronger and capricious.

So, what do you do? Well, you could start doing what I only learned to do after I turned 30: control your mind. I imagine that 99% of people let their mind control them, instead of controlling it. They let their mind do all kinds of horrible things to them; they relive bad past experiences, and even live through imagined terrible future possibilities that are not even going to happen! The mind can focus on bad things in life, or perceived problems with oneself and torture a person. I remember some days in school I would be so worried about a ZIT on my face that I would hardly be aware of anything else! This was basically my mind torturing me. If someone had asked me, "What would you like to do today?" my answer would NOT be: "Worry about a stupid pimple and not have any fun at all."

That really is the key. When you become aware of what you are thinking you can take a moment and say, "Hey, do I want to be thinking this?" The same thing is true for emotions. If you feel sad, angry, or generally unhappy you can stop and say, "Do I want to feel miserable?" Usually (I would hope) the answer is "no." Who wants to go through a whole day feeling miserable because your mind keeps thinking about something meaningless and dumb, or because your random emotional condition of the day is troubling you because of hormones or something you ate last night?

So, all right, being aware is the first step. Once you realize you are thinking or feeling something, and you realize you don't like it, then the next step is to change it. This is the power to feel happy, to enjoy life, to overcome situations. This is a great skill that, as I said, most people don't have. If you practice it and develop it, you will be able to be happy and at peace through difficult times where other people are stuck being a slave to their thoughts and feelings. So, how do you do it? First I am going to make a simple list of steps, and then go into details.

1. Be aware of your thoughts.
2. Decide you want to change them.
3. Learn to calm and relax your mind and body.
4. Replace your thoughts and feelings with something else peaceful and pleasant.

I've already talked about steps 1 and 2. Try to be aware of what you think and feel during the day. If you feel unhappy, uncomfortable, weird, or anything else you don't like, then you can start to change it. You first say to yourself, "Do I want to feel bad? No, I don't." Be confident and sure about this. Then you decide, "Okay, then I will stop." After that, we go to step 3, relaxing. This can be as simple as taking a deep breath and counting to ten. But I will give you a stronger, deeper, yet simple relaxation exercise.

Peaceful Breathing

Find a comfortable position to sit, where you can relax most of your body. (Sometimes this may be difficult depending on where you are, just do your best.) Take control of your breathing. Make sure you breathe in and out very deeply and slowly. You want to breathe deep into your lower abdomen; feel the air going into your lower stomach, just below your bellybutton. It helps if you put a hand on that location and feel your stomach "inflate" as the air goes in. When you breathe, feel the air moving in and out of your nose; concentrate on that feeling. Now, to make it even deeper, count to 5 as you breathe in (in your mind of course) and then breathe out to a 5 count also. You can do this for as little as one minute or as long as twenty, if you want to. When you concentrate on the breathing and counting, it occupies your mind so it doesn't run around thinking all kinds of crazy, nervous, or unhappy thoughts.

This should put you into a more peaceful state. The more you practice this, the better you will get! Now, once you feel more peaceful, you replace the thoughts you don't want with good ones. Think of all of the good things in your life, think of fun things you want to do, think of how you love your friends and loved ones in your life, think of a pet, or a funny video. Think thoughts about the future, good thoughts. About doing well on your tests, about having a fun summer, about finding the job of your dreams. Fill yourself with happy things that you have in the present, and happy thoughts of your future. Those are things worth thinking of. In fact, the Bible even says the same thing!

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
- Philippians 4:4-8

If you do these simple things, you will learn to control your mind, and make it do what YOU want, instead of what it wants to do. It takes practice, you have to keep working at it to get better, but let me tell you, if you learn this, you will have much peace and power in your life.
 
Also I do want to note that there are times when it is perfectly normal and even good to feel sad. If you lose a pet or watch a sad movie or... all kinds of things. I think the beauty of life is accentuated by sadness. We must all feel sad at times to truly know what it is to be happy. So, when there is a time when it is right to feel sad, feel it with all you've got! But if your mind is dragging you through the trials of the past or the fears of the future, take control and be at peace.