Control your emotions, don't let them control you

Sometimes bad things happen, and many times, they happen in groups. It is normal to have an emotional reaction to bad things, we are human, not Spock from Star Trek. But, when those times come, it's best to know how to keep yourself in control. At the very least, it makes it easier to handle those times, plus it leads to a happier life.

One thing I think that happens to us all is we lose perspective. Sometimes just this ONE bad thing becomes huge in our life. I made this diagram to illustrate this.

We zoom in on the problem, and the rest of life becomes very small. Almost all we can see wherever we look is the problem. It almost defines our life. Whether it is a relationship problem, an argument, not getting something you wanted, a personal failure, an embarrassing moment... we can make it huge and dwell on it. But what we really need is perspective. 99% of events in our life are not that big of a deal, and we should see them in the proper perspective. They should look like this:

Usually, just think to yourself, in a few days or weeks, will this really matter? Will I even care? Life will move on. You'll be alive for many days, weeks, and years. In the big picture of time and your life, most problems are small and not worth getting upset about. You should just move on.

Controlling those emotions

So, we have now seen, due to my awesome photoshopped diagrams, the way to have perspective. That will help. Another big thing is to think: do I want to feel awful and upset right now? Most people would say, "no." Feeling awful is well... awful. So when you realize you are feeling bad and you don't want to, stop your thoughts for a second, get hold of them. Say, "I would rather feel good and happy." Then DO it. This is how it works: emotion follows action. Do something that makes you happy, even small things: sing, draw, dance. Whatever. Once you make yourself do things that are happy things, your body and mind have no choice but to follow. If those pesky thoughts keep coming back while you are doing it, just remind yourself that you don't want to feel bad, you would rather feel good. Keep pursuing it.

One thing you want to always remember, you CAN control your actions. No matter what your emotions are making you feel you can still choose what to do. If you are feeling unhappy it doesn't mean you have to do unhappy things. If you are angry, you don't have to lash out. If you are feeling an overwhelming emotion at the moment, just remember: it's just a feeling. It doesn't mean anything unless you want it to. You don't have to let it control you, and it will pass. No matter how badly you feel at any moment, it will get better. Just make it through. You never have to be a slave to your emotions, instead, you can learn to control them with practice. Just think of how you want to feel, and move toward it. Don't let those emotions drag you around and make you do things, show them who is boss, you.