Cut people off

Sometimes in life, there are things that don't bring anything good to you. They are just there, taking up space, or worse; causing problems. These are the type of things you should get rid of. Sometimes, people are like this too.

Now look, I don't want you to suddenly become all cold and calculating and some kind of loner (though it looks cool in movies, it's not that much fun.) I'm just saying that sometimes, it is definitely the right thing to do to stop talking to someone, and even avoid their presence altogether.

Here's an example. I had a friend I met about ten years ago. She was really cool, and we had a lot of fun. But she had this crazy temper. She would just lose it sometimes and start cussing me out over the most ridiculous things. One time she even was screaming at me at a table in a restaurant while we were out with friends. So, every time this would happen, we'd both be mad for a while then she'd apologize and be all sorry and want to be friends again. So, I let it go.

Eventually, this became a regular thing. I got to the point where I would stop talking to her for a while, but then weeks later she'd show back up and want to be friends again. She'd be all nice and stuff, and I'd think, okay, fine. Then she would do it again. It was really stressful and uncomfortable and eventually I realized, even though she was cool, the bad stuff was not worth it. So I told her that was it, and now she still tries to come back (years later!) and I have to remind myself how bad she can get. I am happier and, most importantly, less stressed out without her.

This can happen with relationships too, I mean, the dating kind. A girl I know dating this guy, who was wonderful, and sweet, and did all these things she liked; but if he did not get his way about something, he would totally freak out and call her names and make her feel guilty and basically be horrible to her. I said, look, that is unacceptable behavior! And she would say, "Yes but besides that he is so nice and everything I want..." Well, that's just like saying, "Man, this food is so tasty and great, I love to eat it! I don't mind that there is poison in it!"

Some people are just poisonous. Sure, the poison might taste sweet, but you still will get sick. So, I know what you are thinking: "This entry is already too long Uncle Steve, I'm being distracted by various shiny objects." But I want to tell you one more thing: you have to be tough when you cut people off. Once you have realized they need to go, you shouldn't let them beg their way back in. Be tough. Say no. Make a clean ending.